Darkness is better than the light

Darkness is better than the light

They say darkness is a bad place

A sad place

A mad place

The creepy place

The evil place

What if you turned it upside down.

I say the light is a strange place

An open space

The mad place

A sad place

A creepy place.

It’s a place where all is aware.

As of the darkness it’s where I found myself. In the state of realisation and silence no one around me but my

Thoughts grew in abundance.

Trying to climb out of stretch out of reach of jump out of.

The darkness.

Which in the end was but a reflection of myself that I was taught was bad.

Sometimes you seek self In unfamiliar ways.

Your light may be found in the darkness. Where your darkness may be found within the light.

 

Why tho init

Why tho init

Why oh why

Can’t I get my self together

Slightly rightly tightly

Politely inspiringly

But I am tired.

Single mom syndrome

Nope don’t agree erm

You are doing very well they say

From the outside looking in

When you well and kno

Sometimes it feels like you are doing

An awful job. I mean you can’t even get ya sen dressed not looking nice

Only just pulled ya socks on and

Out the door dodge mirrors and say we are ok things are looking up.

You send child to nursery and walk along the road side see homeless and wish you were Superhero.

Don’t worry child things will get better.

Feeling intuned with many things minds popping because material things are just another skin, another you.

Whilst these things are not accessible you learn the skin your in I guess for me I learn more from being without and slowly becoming comfortable. The whole you are doing well is not helpful sometimes that I want to be invisible like my single mother status does not define me. It’s a fact and maybe all I kno. I guess this society sees this as a negative thing I see it slightly especially if something was to happen to me and my son and their is no one to come and protect us. When I hear coupled people going through something like needing help from the partners I’ve learned to not hold malice and just except that, it is a privilege that they have a family unite. Being a single parent you have to be both masculine and feminine and I have felt like I have been forgetting my feminine energy their for not attracting anyone as such. This writing has gone everywhere but I guess writing in the real world isn’t all calm and smooth.

I want to

I want to

Ready to go find me

A somone

Someone who can hold onto me

Hug me like they been looking for me

For way to long

And they have finally found me

I was hiding from my own reflection.

But now I am ready to be found.

Deep inside I feel like we are playing hide and seek and your just hiding

And that’s OK.

It’s been a while, thought love was for everyone but me.

I was wrong, I have love to pour out.

Happiness turning into a Taboo?

Happiness turning into a Taboo?

Could you please put the sun out

When it’s meant to be winter and make it rain when it’s too hot

Make my job pay me to sit around.

Make expensive clothes cheaper.

Let me forget the fact that this designer peice has been created by the hands of a child, similar age to my son.

Let my eyes not care because this world well I’m sort of invisible so let’s be viable. Let me not pay taxes and eat a load of food for free!

Not ideal but there are some people who expect things to be just easy. With things being easy means not caring for other people in order for it to be easy for you it must be harder for someone else. Something or someone has to suffer in expencr for it to be easy.

This isn’t my reality, but we live in a culture where everyone moans about the things that are unessasry and expect to do nothing. In order to gain the world

Forcedinuendo

Forcedinuendo

OK so this is just a chat write. Been analysing my own behaviour towards a whole lot of things that is a choice to ignore or acknowledge. I am at the point where if I don’t acknowledge and analyse I cannot move forward. It takes a lot to adjust to the self conscious analysis state. If someone don’t understand, it’s where you are able to reason with why you react to a situation be it bad or good. However you will explain this. It’s how you feel about it how you react and the outcome. I guess it’s normal to have mini celebrations on small successes but how do we continue the phase of work and success in receiving good results from the task. It’s a continual development. I have also been watching how I react to situations that present themselves to me. Especially when my lil man is in distress or if I am. It’s like ok for myself I have to listen to me. And for him maybe he just wants to sit by me and cuddle. Yes exactly being able to be still. Calm and collectively listening to my lil bab, is something I am working on more and more. It’s the patience in itself that creates better spaces. Also being able to work on my intuition and do what I felt was right in the first place. Like I am able to talk to more people than I had been whilst walking on my own in the morning watching people commuting to work in the city centre. I smile more and say hello more. It has made me feel more relaxed and open to meet new people. It’s difficult at first but it gets easier. I just hope I keeps it going.

She not God

She not God

Girl cries aloud.

Busy shopping centre

I am not God!

Can’t change this world.

Feed the homeless

Cradle the hopeless

Clean streets of garbage,

Save the sick. Nobody lives for ever.

She can’t change the way things are,

She not God, but she feels what she sees.

She the mother not cradled her child yet

But sees a whole world in front of her that needs to be held.