Feeling unavailable r

Feeling unavailable r

Sometimes you can feel unavailable but available at the same time. I have felt this alot. And maybe a source of irrational panic of wanting to help out and give advice all the time. Don’t no what Bipolar feels like but sort of could imagine it in small ways. Like high energy and burst of. Come to a realisation of myself and its not that I didn’t notice its just that I carried on. And didn’t do what’s in my nature instead I created a paranamic view of everything and everyone in my life and started panicking Trying to help out. I am a single mother who is an artist with plenty of opportunity’s. And sometimes I want to share everything even to the free bottle of wine. Not even sure how I come across maybe pushy. I have a nack for research and finding focus groups coupons and free things and I don’t stop. So let’s say I am not looking for a normal traditional job but what I am passionate about. And I have this it’s my show mentality I am fully aware of it and its just one of those things especially if it’s just you and child in the house no adult to talk to then suddenly an adult calls and such you can’t stop talking and you’re on high energy. Where is it from like what is all of that. Then Boom! Poof you get a low or no one is interested or you are feeling a bit pushy trying to save the world with an invisible hero cape! Soaring through. So I dig into my past and I am like why do I panic for other people when I clearly can’t see it around me. Like everyone seems to be sane like laid back and probably doing what makes them feel good. Where as me not really living my truth and knowing or understanding if the messenger or helper was a given. Or I just adopted it by accident and ran with it. Understanding that it will be a journey for it all to change and for me to stop giving advice and attention and focus on me and my son. Keep my lips sealed and nod or say bare minimum. I have to go cold turkey and be selfish keep my advice to myself my free things. The new nack and listen more. Probably use my energy to transfer into something else. Stay away from people for a few days or weeks. Don’t know if anyone else feels like this at all. Just learning how to keep my business to myself and invest in me to move forward. Has anyone got a similar story?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s