Soh coming owta 2017 its now blooming 2018.And it baffles meh Ow, we as a society and a people actually follow everyone’s behinds and then wonder why our dreams, aims and objectives in life are not met. It’s like yall eating pie with ice cream right and I can’t eat it but guess what I eat it go home and yes feel the pain after. It’s like we don’t really and truly give two shits about ourselves. If we did none of the flappyness would be able to happen. What happened to teaching kids self awareness and respect rather than installing you must respect everything and everyone first. “it’s alright beautiful put people first and be kind”. Wrong! Analyse the situation and make a decision whether you want to be kind to that person if they deserve it. We telling our babies to sell um selves short according to society. Yet they look upto their adult parent/career, who are not setting the correct standards for them to look upto. They are taught to be kind and share then they see an adult walk passed homeless person and not offer to help.!!!! It’s all bobandtail.
They say darkness is a bad place
A sad place
A mad place
The creepy place
The evil place
What if you turned it upside down.
I say the light is a strange place
An open space
The mad place
A sad place
A creepy place.
It’s a place where all is aware.
As of the darkness it’s where I found myself. In the state of realisation and silence no one around me but my
Thoughts grew in abundance.
Trying to climb out of stretch out of reach of jump out of.
Which in the end was but a reflection of myself that I was taught was bad.
Sometimes you seek self In unfamiliar ways.
Your light may be found in the darkness. Where your darkness may be found within the light.
Why oh why
Can’t I get my self together
Slightly rightly tightly
But I am tired.
Single mom syndrome
Nope don’t agree erm
You are doing very well they say
From the outside looking in
When you well and kno
Sometimes it feels like you are doing
An awful job. I mean you can’t even get ya sen dressed not looking nice
Only just pulled ya socks on and
Out the door dodge mirrors and say we are ok things are looking up.
You send child to nursery and walk along the road side see homeless and wish you were Superhero.
Don’t worry child things will get better.
Feeling intuned with many things minds popping because material things are just another skin, another you.
Whilst these things are not accessible you learn the skin your in I guess for me I learn more from being without and slowly becoming comfortable. The whole you are doing well is not helpful sometimes that I want to be invisible like my single mother status does not define me. It’s a fact and maybe all I kno. I guess this society sees this as a negative thing I see it slightly especially if something was to happen to me and my son and their is no one to come and protect us. When I hear coupled people going through something like needing help from the partners I’ve learned to not hold malice and just except that, it is a privilege that they have a family unite. Being a single parent you have to be both masculine and feminine and I have felt like I have been forgetting my feminine energy their for not attracting anyone as such. This writing has gone everywhere but I guess writing in the real world isn’t all calm and smooth.
Ready to go find me
Someone who can hold onto me
Hug me like they been looking for me
For way to long
And they have finally found me
I was hiding from my own reflection.
But now I am ready to be found.
Deep inside I feel like we are playing hide and seek and your just hiding
And that’s OK.
It’s been a while, thought love was for everyone but me.
I was wrong, I have love to pour out.
What is happiness?
What is happiness?
What is happiness?
Could you please put the sun out
When it’s meant to be winter and make it rain when it’s too hot
Make my job pay me to sit around.
Make expensive clothes cheaper.
Let me forget the fact that this designer peice has been created by the hands of a child, similar age to my son.
Let my eyes not care because this world well I’m sort of invisible so let’s be viable. Let me not pay taxes and eat a load of food for free!
Not ideal but there are some people who expect things to be just easy. With things being easy means not caring for other people in order for it to be easy for you it must be harder for someone else. Something or someone has to suffer in expencr for it to be easy.
This isn’t my reality, but we live in a culture where everyone moans about the things that are unessasry and expect to do nothing. In order to gain the world
OK so this is just a chat write. Been analysing my own behaviour towards a whole lot of things that is a choice to ignore or acknowledge. I am at the point where if I don’t acknowledge and analyse I cannot move forward. It takes a lot to adjust to the self conscious analysis state. If someone don’t understand, it’s where you are able to reason with why you react to a situation be it bad or good. However you will explain this. It’s how you feel about it how you react and the outcome. I guess it’s normal to have mini celebrations on small successes but how do we continue the phase of work and success in receiving good results from the task. It’s a continual development. I have also been watching how I react to situations that present themselves to me. Especially when my lil man is in distress or if I am. It’s like ok for myself I have to listen to me. And for him maybe he just wants to sit by me and cuddle. Yes exactly being able to be still. Calm and collectively listening to my lil bab, is something I am working on more and more. It’s the patience in itself that creates better spaces. Also being able to work on my intuition and do what I felt was right in the first place. Like I am able to talk to more people than I had been whilst walking on my own in the morning watching people commuting to work in the city centre. I smile more and say hello more. It has made me feel more relaxed and open to meet new people. It’s difficult at first but it gets easier. I just hope I keeps it going.