Why oh why
Can’t I get my self together
Slightly rightly tightly
But I am tired.
Single mom syndrome
Nope don’t agree erm
You are doing very well they say
From the outside looking in
When you well and kno
Sometimes it feels like you are doing
An awful job. I mean you can’t even get ya sen dressed not looking nice
Only just pulled ya socks on and
Out the door dodge mirrors and say we are ok things are looking up.
You send child to nursery and walk along the road side see homeless and wish you were Superhero.
Don’t worry child things will get better.
Feeling intuned with many things minds popping because material things are just another skin, another you.
Whilst these things are not accessible you learn the skin your in I guess for me I learn more from being without and slowly becoming comfortable. The whole you are doing well is not helpful sometimes that I want to be invisible like my single mother status does not define me. It’s a fact and maybe all I kno. I guess this society sees this as a negative thing I see it slightly especially if something was to happen to me and my son and their is no one to come and protect us. When I hear coupled people going through something like needing help from the partners I’ve learned to not hold malice and just except that, it is a privilege that they have a family unite. Being a single parent you have to be both masculine and feminine and I have felt like I have been forgetting my feminine energy their for not attracting anyone as such. This writing has gone everywhere but I guess writing in the real world isn’t all calm and smooth.
Could you please put the sun out
When it’s meant to be winter and make it rain when it’s too hot
Make my job pay me to sit around.
Make expensive clothes cheaper.
Let me forget the fact that this designer peice has been created by the hands of a child, similar age to my son.
Let my eyes not care because this world well I’m sort of invisible so let’s be viable. Let me not pay taxes and eat a load of food for free!
Not ideal but there are some people who expect things to be just easy. With things being easy means not caring for other people in order for it to be easy for you it must be harder for someone else. Something or someone has to suffer in expencr for it to be easy.
This isn’t my reality, but we live in a culture where everyone moans about the things that are unessasry and expect to do nothing. In order to gain the world
OK so this is just a chat write. Been analysing my own behaviour towards a whole lot of things that is a choice to ignore or acknowledge. I am at the point where if I don’t acknowledge and analyse I cannot move forward. It takes a lot to adjust to the self conscious analysis state. If someone don’t understand, it’s where you are able to reason with why you react to a situation be it bad or good. However you will explain this. It’s how you feel about it how you react and the outcome. I guess it’s normal to have mini celebrations on small successes but how do we continue the phase of work and success in receiving good results from the task. It’s a continual development. I have also been watching how I react to situations that present themselves to me. Especially when my lil man is in distress or if I am. It’s like ok for myself I have to listen to me. And for him maybe he just wants to sit by me and cuddle. Yes exactly being able to be still. Calm and collectively listening to my lil bab, is something I am working on more and more. It’s the patience in itself that creates better spaces. Also being able to work on my intuition and do what I felt was right in the first place. Like I am able to talk to more people than I had been whilst walking on my own in the morning watching people commuting to work in the city centre. I smile more and say hello more. It has made me feel more relaxed and open to meet new people. It’s difficult at first but it gets easier. I just hope I keeps it going.
Left a place for you to sit
Not met you yet,
Not heard your voice yet.
But I hold a place in this space for you.
No confusion of conflicts about this
Your place in this space.
Your space in a heart waiting for yours to
Sit next to.
Them tears we keep hiding
Will one day burst through the banks
Like a rawing lion
Big and couragess they fall out of your eyes, they flood your face,
Your heart empties out the pain you held in. Because it can’t hold it in
The tears have a place and it’s not stuck inside.
Cry and cry and cry sometimes be it happy tears or sad tears.
It’s OK to feel human, some emotions have no words but actions.
So they say
Can’t burry them
In dignity they killed them selves
For they will burn in the flames of hell.
Well it is written.
So the religious shun the one
Who took their lives.
Not looking into what could have caused this.
Could anyone have helped by just listening.
Could you have held this person close to you.
Why was you so busy trying to speak the words of God but yet your actions are so materially untrue. Did you push the book onto the person instead of listening? Rebuke them and wish badmind onto them?.
Religious sounds inhumane.
You cry for help, nobody helps you take your life and they curse you down…..
So many problems with this world
We follow books written along time ago.
But we can’t live in the reality of today’s world.