They asked me what do I look for in love?
I answered to be 15 again to not meet him at Mcdonalds again to not give him
My cherry again.
To look back and climb into a time machine.
To not think that he and us was the definition of love.
What and how do you define love?
I wish my body wouldn’t go all gooey
Like I am drunk.
But you see to me that was love, and for the 8 years after it was. I mean nothing else made me feel all kinds of things.
We connected spiritually eventually and it felt all ludicrous this was not by purpose.
Not sure what purpose
He was like a young boy that
Turned into a man.
He didn’t know his self worth but neither did I.
Long story cut short.
How would I define love.
I guess we touch hands like the aliens on star trek and Intwine our electrons
Connect like satalight dishes.
You kno nothing can define it with words or visions
It should define itself
And when it comes.
No expectations of the passed
Should be presented.
Love who the hell are
Like really why you so
Love is it a myth or
Is it something or someone?
Love let’s sit down and talk for a while.
I think love got mixed up with Oragasmic short circuits.
I mean that feeling feels quite electrifying.
I guess it makes a better connection
When love is wired up.
You see love don’t always come from
The stuff you stick in the toaster.
I believe it comes from the inner
Place where you connect none
They would say it’s a more spiritual thing.
So love why you always dropping out of peoples mouths and do they no
The difference between love and lust?
Not ust because ust is a long way from dropping the l In lust.
Love romantically and love caringly gets a slap on both sides of the face. Some desire you to love them like it’s a weakness and some want you to love them like no other then throw the same love back in your face.
They don’t want to here you love coz you care oh no.
So love please can we work something out.
The cuts and bruising
May heal with creams and band-aid
I’m not see-through
I’m not liquid
My heart still bleeding still beating.
But it’s the mind
It needs protecting
Hugged loved held.
Right until heald.
But it’s the mind it’s intangible
You can’t see it you can’t touch it.
I just want you to listen because if you could see it.
It would have tears and scars and bruising.
You’d want to hold me.
I just can’t explain exactly how
The pain feels.
Ahhh ooo eeeeee
Ahhhhhhh Awwww beautiful you are
They call this one a bundle of joy
Ohhhh Ahhhhhhh wooopp haaaa
Cu cu cu googooo gagga
All engaged all eyes on the baby
Until it starts getting out of control.
Then we complain and panic
Get anxious annoyed.
My baba still ooohhh Awwww cutte
Why the heck we trying to control every single aspect of life. Um wanting to just enjoy a peice of the pie. We sooo controlled work takes over everything like money is a personified being.
So last night I was on YouTube and someone I recently followed was ranting on about Evilness and Satan and how our phones and tv screens are all portals to evil. Now this is scare mongering tactics. Although I do believe that our thoughts become reality if we focus to much on the negative or try to create something unnatural with thought like badmind on an other person. I stopped watching this person and unfollowed. I thought she was a bit irrational and scare mongering. Going over it asthough she was willing evil into her own life. She used the very thing she called evil which is a mobile phone. Now I am very aware that you cannot get away from technology these days. What really struck me is the fact that the speak of the devil is more difficult than dominant in the exploration of trying to get people in specific religions. Now everyone has their own reasons for why and for me I am not one to discriminate others for what they choose to do. I am not apart of a group apart from being an Artist a mother a Black woman and Caribbean. Some of these things are by choice and some are not. I never for a real good moment wish evil upon another person or try to compete unless it’s a competition and it’s a rule. I don’t have evil thoughts. I have some guilt if I passed on trying to help somone out or situations like this. I don’t focus on world domination, if how to get people onto my side. I don’t think I have a side. I have views and opinions but it’s not clusterd to other individuals. I mean I myself believe that I am able to choose how I treat people knowing that I have my own thoughts and what I do affects me and not a whole congregation. I am solely responsible for my actions and my environment. I have not committed anything that I have not owned upto and assessed from different view points in order to now move forward. For me the interior self is more clear than when you put on yourself exterior people. Guilt and need to impress becomes greater and more dominant. The more people in your life who have a different opinion in life may be able place words of disencouragement and fear of life itself in order to draw you into their way of life. For some believing in God or the universe isn’t enough. They then ask it depends on who you believe in. Well I believe in myself, I believe in God and Humanity. I believe that seeing people whole and pure until the understanding of at any point that they may have done something that I deem to be wrong in my opinion. So I try to see the person before the titles they give themselves. We all judge. So the only God can judge me response within Church is a contradiction because I feel people in there judging or is it my fear of people seemingly being somone else of who they are telling others they are. I feel naked in church. I am a spiritual person and this does not mean I meditate or sumon deities. Nope I don’t do that not to understanding of meditating. I’m tooo paranoid to even get involved in such. So I just focus in treating people with a respect. Though I do call people out on their disrespect. And scare mongering and the fact that my community still has no generational wealth but the churches are getting fatter and fatter recruiting more people. I can’t afford to go to Church. I was told by a Christian on the road side that if I do not go church and believe in Jesus that I will go to the firepit of Hell. Now unless they have trained their minds to think for themselves I say if I wasn’t in the right mind according to society I could have taken my life. Just hearing that messed up and then they drive off in their big cars. I have a phone conversation with a particular person that now I am thinking wow he’s a narcissistic man and I have to protect myself from this type of person. He talks about the Bible and he’s kinda got into the I know this what do you kno. And I am hear to teach you sort of thing. I have grown up in church school and in church and I knew from ages ago that I am spiritual, being in a church made me feel suffocating and dislike people because I could see through them in a sense.
you mean I’m
because two adults
didn’t think twice
before they created life
they just kept on
like it’s just a joy ride
it’s just for today
like nobody is
like no heart is beating
that no chemistry
has been created
like I didn’t just come in a world
without them fucking
explain to me what I should
feel when I agree to have sex
I mean ima boy I can make babies
too like with someone I love
I just wasn’t made
with that full love
and I hope to
I am taught how to love
even if they didn’t love
I know my mom loves me
she can’t teach me how to be a
man she can only show me how
to become the best I can by
not letting no man just come into
like narsty flies pon meat
allow it fam
They didn’t have love
but I surely taught her how to
how not to
be selfish and think about