That thing they call gratitude 

That thing they call gratitude 

So lately I have been looking at the thing called gratitude. I have been reading and watching YouTube videos. I am trying to look more within because my surroundings lack self-confidence, motivation and knowledge. It also lacks empathy. I have natural empathy but It’s been unable to flow freely as people find it easy to offload and not listen to my own problems. In reading about mindfulness gratitude it has helped me to see the problems I may think are there and see what good is there. I guess stress is more reciprocated than happiness. I just want to be able to smile without feeling guilty of even having a smile. I want to cry and not have to apologise for making someone feel uncomfortable. Want to sing out loud and wear what I want. I want to give up eating meat it makes me feel like ugh but I eat what is in front of me and what I know. So I have not put my own self-love boundaries and worth out there but I am working on it. Through writing my gratitude Daily I am appreciating the small things that I miss out through materialism and being impatient and being angry or trying to impress.

My looking into myself has given me the permission to understand my flaws and accept also to allow myself to not feel a guilt of feeling how I do. And to catch myself going out of line. And trying to see how people view me whether right or wrong.

Thoughts of gratitude mixed up with self-love for me is knowing my body. Like I am looking after a child. How do I do this well I am aware of what not to eat but I am not disciplined enough to eliminate things because I am conditioned and used to what I know. I have to work on the unknowing in order for me to have a healthy interior and exterior. My guilty thing is eating chicken and dairy still it Messes up my IBS. but I am grateful for the food that is presented and provided to me I guess I have to prepare my own food and have self-discipline.

Since I have started my gratitude journaling I have realised that my energy has not been so negative rather positive and uplifting. It’s taking myself to understand what is often misunderstood and covered up with egos. Yet I am able to see through people as well I am seeing clearer but not just seeing the bad or the good but the in-between. It’s having the silence to see what is happening over being too noisy and confrontational.

This is me

This is me

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This is me no quotation marks needed

it’s all me I ain’t famous

nor am I perfect

This is me

I like to see things

in many view points

I often get into debates

coz I just want to know why

some say I’m stubborn

but I say they can’t actually handle

someone not seeing things their way

the world is more than my bedroom door

more than the person next door

more than the people that live

inside of the television screen

more than the pain

that kinda spreads across the

screen

yes these people are real

it’s not made up

it get me frustrated

how many highly

intellectual enlightened

intelligent people are out there

that can help the situations

happening in 3rd world countries.

I imagine all religions make a mass

praying day spread it out on the news

on social media

3 mins silent where they all pray lifting a power surge

of darkness off the earth.

It seems like Activism but Religion should be its

should Act on what they preach

our minds so much more than just what we

are taught its what and how we think.

imagine how the world would be if everyone did

as they said literally.

Save the world.