Soh coming owta 2017 its now blooming 2018.And it baffles meh Ow, we as a society and a people actually follow everyone’s behinds and then wonder why our dreams, aims and objectives in life are not met. It’s like yall eating pie with ice cream right and I can’t eat it but guess what I eat it go home and yes feel the pain after. It’s like we don’t really and truly give two shits about ourselves. If we did none of the flappyness would be able to happen. What happened to teaching kids self awareness and respect rather than installing you must respect everything and everyone first. “it’s alright beautiful put people first and be kind”. Wrong! Analyse the situation and make a decision whether you want to be kind to that person if they deserve it. We telling our babies to sell um selves short according to society. Yet they look upto their adult parent/career, who are not setting the correct standards for them to look upto. They are taught to be kind and share then they see an adult walk passed homeless person and not offer to help.!!!! It’s all bobandtail.
Ahhh ooo eeeeee
Ahhhhhhh Awwww beautiful you are
They call this one a bundle of joy
Ohhhh Ahhhhhhh wooopp haaaa
Cu cu cu googooo gagga
All engaged all eyes on the baby
Until it starts getting out of control.
Then we complain and panic
Get anxious annoyed.
My baba still ooohhh Awwww cutte
Why the heck we trying to control every single aspect of life. Um wanting to just enjoy a peice of the pie. We sooo controlled work takes over everything like money is a personified being.
So the title has nothing to do with the actual time I was waking up at 4:30am this was actually exhausting me out Even more through out the day. So I need to analyse and adjust the whole organisation way. Now it’s unnatural to be organised and perfect but that doesn’t mean to say that this is not unnatural for everyone. Just some people. Point I am making is that I forget I have a child and I have to incorporate the extra time spent with child and spent cooking and cleaning and sorting them out. I thought woooh I can just fly around the home because woo I am awake and child sleeping. He needs me to be available and aware for him. Not to be zombied out like I am having a hangover oh no. And that is how that felt. Head banging not smiling stomach rumbling.
BOOM! So I am trying to find good habits from my spending habits to the how can I experience life being a single mother with bare minimum. And how can I make a good upbringing for my child and how can I make it in the world of entrepreneurship and business in fashion jewelry and workshop Facilitating. I mean does this all sound unachievable like pooh loads of things to do. And I will find ways I’m just experimenting what works from what does not. Has anyone got any tips and ideas that we could spring bounce off?
So 3:45 am baby coughing me awake. Baby please take water I say and the response is “No”. OK so now I am awake alarm ready to greet my morning as have set up a morning routine for waking up early and getting ready all by 8am. I have done the getting ready and out of the door.But have not done the whole routine, so now that I am fully awake why not. It consists of a little exercise and me having time to myself completely to be able to wake up and relax, get ready, glam up and look and feel my best. Also to possibly get some work done as this could be a good start to creating a new positive habit.
Its abit okey dokey ish about things like were the head at does it, listen really?
Do you always listen to yourself? or do you get trapped into putting more information on top of what you are supposed to, like second guessing, Well my hands are up I always do this its like the glass is never full, with more things to do and my head feels like a chicken on the chicken run going to school to pick up her kids, JOKes aside,
Its for real tho we live in a society where material things are like the best thing, It really isnt but for me making material things is like winning the lottery I am soo proud of myself like did these hands of mine create something that just popped into my mind and wallaaaa its there . Yano its never enough sometimes. Like to be able to want material things now and turn off the fact that I could am willing to make a life career for me and my son or do I just sit there on Facebook. Watching those loved up and making things for themselves. And then I get a click like who am I kidding am I really going to watch people that seem to be rich in the hand and maybe not as rich in the mind, I guess it’s twooo completely different, I mean who I am is who I am born to be, Its like you see those that have a made life for them. uno married kids, driving and now owns a house, the same ones that you grew up with and them you once shared food with, Don’t seem to want to give you a lift up. They cannot offer you a phone call a lift up. And then I get another moment it told me that okay do you really want these people to lift you up?
that is something you must ask yourself, we could and I could sit here watching my phone and nothing coming through. Or I could sit at my desk throwing out some designs and creating art writing on my blog, And think of games to play and outings for my son. Sometimes lonely times make you feel like the outcast or the child in primary school that all of a sudden has a lurgy bug and they want to run away from you, Or they want to just visit you to say what they have. yeeha aaa. It’s all hormonal and it will pass for tomorrow. Its like this you are either privileged with it all or privileged with nothing.
I have engaged in Art projects around Nottingham and willing to push further out into the East Midlands region. My art form personally is poetry and jewellery design but I can see myself being more of a mixed visual experimental artist. I have a wider outstanding experience in the industry I have always wanted to be a part of. I have had academic set backs during school and college due to my dyslexia that was diagnosed in university and English and maths academia. If I was to go back through the system I would ask the teacher certain questions but I understand that they are working to live and the school is only standing on passing grades but most things they teach has nothing to do with life skills. Our kids bust their brains learning things that will never help them get a job or how to be confident. Children are taught how to be quite. For convenience of others. Children are not supposed to be that quiet. They are meant to be what their age is. They are quickly suppressed then we get suicidal, secretive angry teenagers who have been told to shut up and respect the orders. How are they supposed to repect when respect has not been shown. It’s frustrating that I feel a lot freer now. The people who have respect for me and my work or help I would never imagine in a hundred years. I believe that a child should grasp as much of the world as it’s mind can digest the school system does not make the minds eat real knowledge. It forces paper and rules down their mouth. Rules are OK as long as they don’t demean the person.
boys picked noses
straight hair got lice
light skin or white skin
girls got chosen
boys used girls for head game
back of the shed
popularity meant more
coz self life
from the day
at 5 being told to sit
in an uncompromising
backs straight legs crossed
fingers on lips
don’t say nothing whilst I’m talking
teachers sounded in human but as I got
older I soon realised how human they were
they just brainwashed my newly formed
human self into becoming a slave to there
wow so much to look back
never thought I would be
thinking these things
until I became a parent.
by Raisa Mcclarey francis