How do you grieve 

How do you grieve 

I asked how do you do this 

To the space of silence 

Waiting for the one woman who could 

Answer this question 

But no answer received as she lay 

Down eyes closed lifeless 

Empty bodied nothing but the image 

Of the lively person Was all I knew. 

How do I live with out you. 

How 

Because all my life I was always around you. 

You were my nana and it’s taken me ages to place you in passed tense, because saying was felt like I was disrespecting you, I mean you are a ‘you are’. 

In reality you are a was and I can’t get my head around this. I can imagine the things that you say and do. And you aren’t doing them now. 

What kind of reality are we living in. You are really not here. Some try to say that you are looking down on us that you are close by. 

I have you in my heart just didn’t prepare myself for not being able to see you again. 
I love you nana x 

Actually

Actually

Dust fell on top

of my left eyelid

it was light but somewhat heavy

it felt like how we mystify the stars

in the sky when they are really rocks

or the soft falling of snow

that freezes your eyeball

no It felt somewhat comforting

uno a piece of speckly dust

that chose to fall on my eye

unlike sitting on the bus or

the tram with an empty space

beside of me

watching people dodge the seat or

sit down only because….

but this speck of dust chose me.

sounds strange but we miss the things

that now seem unimportant to us

in exchange for the things that are really

not that important to us.

we can dismiss the falling of the leaves

and the coming of new leaves

just like we forget what we had to do

in order to make a weeks lunch for

the family.

I guess we should write our down comings

so we don’t forget how human we are

trying to be inhuman and not knowing

how to cope in a world that expects us to be

superhuman like the films we binge watch

trying to create a world that is only for the screen

and when the film finishes

put the news on.

And then

And then

reality kicks in

the war is still on and no

I cannot see no superhuman hero

flying in the sky

saving those dying kids

putting out that fire

fighting those baddies

argghhh Baddies if only

what we put our most into

What

served us its time.

time spent in an unrealistic

world.

 

WOTS IT LIKE THEN

WOTS IT LIKE THEN

Wot is it lyke then

uno wots inside ur head

or your mind

erm your cranium

hmm awkward I thought

is this more difficult

for you

asking the question

or for me trying to find the

suitable answer

hmmm

nope you interest me even more

watching you twindle through

words and terminologies

you feel most comfortable saying

in this most uncomfortable conversation which

has just been quashed out of uncomfortable

silences

I mean as if you would sit comfortable

knowing

word for word vision for vision exactly what

is in my head.

it’s like opening someone’s secret diary

or listening in on a phone call.

picking brains with toothpicks

but I will warn you don’t feel

to comfortable asking such

questions and expecting mediocre responses

 

 

 

 

what obstecals do we face

what obstecals do we face

what obstacles do you face?

we face things like self-doubt

self hate

we put words in our minds

and swear someone else has said it

we look into the mirror

and sigh each time coz that person

looking back is the only one

that can keep us down

I guess it’s when we can’t look into

our own reflection

well for me its familiarising

myself from the one I think I look like

from the inside or is it the other way around?

It’s the use of negative language that has become

so natural

it’s not being able to celebrate self in case others

feel away.

it’s saying sorry for your happiness as though it’s

a curse.

It’s building up imaginary blocks

imagining yourself climbing it

no Imagining yourself not climbing it

because you are far too afraid of falling

and having to get back up again.

Finding nemo

Finding nemo

We in a world 

Where being fearless 

Takes money from the big man’s 

Wallet. 

Being fearful makes other people think 

You need their fear placed upon 

You for protection. 

Fear is a blocking state of mind

It works for or against you. 

No fear the same but a man who is 

Fearless is frowned upon. 

He is seen as a rebel because he is not 

Sitting back waiting for a 

Miracle to appear 

He realises that he is the miracle 

Who will appear to himself.