Realisationing

Realisationing

I have come to or coming to some sort of realisationing,  that you can’t force an understanding upon  somone if they are not willing to. Open their  eyes and ears to see that differences do exist. And occur in our reality and that not everyone will understand.  What they can see on their level of understanding. I have had arguments with people simply because they seem to force the reality of their own that has no progress to change in this environment that we are living in and especially mine. Then I try to understand for why am I getting frustrated when I already no what I do and it’s OK just for me to keep my mouth shut and listen. Erm well I find it hard to. It’s like telling your stomach that you have not eaten crap food and no it will not hurt ur stomach at all! In denial of the fact that no matter how much we try to prevent the world from crumbling and stop people from hurting dying and killing no matter how much we pray or give money. We are not incontrol. Maybe incontrol of a percentage just of,  because we are not accepting that our thoughts are our reality. I have some kind of trying to reason that if we are able to manifest our reality then why are so many of us externalised in thought instead of internalised. This is because we are taught from a young age how to externalise inorder to recive such as share and be kind put people first. Not saying be inhumane but we are not taught in the westernised world that we need to internalise and understand self before other people. Like religion alot of it is outsourcing our prayers and idolising other humans this idolising is soooo Ancient and I can’t say too wrongs I am just trying to get an understanding without the end result being that. I need saving or read the Holy book. I offend alot of people with me not conforming and being one of them but I can’t understand where they are coming from.

she wants to fall in love ey

she wants to fall in love ey

She said

shush! gosh
I really want to fall in love
I want to
be squeezed that tight
 I kinda loose my breath
Then he lets me go
Repeatedly holding me
Let my second lips start to talk
they can’t wait to talk
and laugh and cackle
but…
hmm
I can’t do it right now
I can barely take this.
And he will just hold me right?
Or is it all in my head that he would really
Want to talk deeper but without words
let his second
 mind communicate
or should I just become all  cold
I mean I get all scared and
tell them lips to shut
the fuck up
like they get me in trouble
feel like regurgitating at the
waist line when, I see him
um like a volcano ready to
erupt
like a fizzy bottle of pop
been all shook up
like Elvis Presley
what would happen

what would happen

I wonder sometimes

in my head

what would happen

if I regurgitated

the impulse reactive thoughts

that speak loudly in my head

and then I realise how rude it

feels for someone else to do this

but then how offensive it is

when someone else feels offended when I do so

but then what if I spat words out

as quickly as I try to compliment

people and spread that good feeling

news around.

Nothing feels too good or looks too good

what If me spitting out thoughts as soon

as they enter my mind ain’t always a bad thing

like what if?

I know it would help my mind from impulse thoughts

and detox my brain so my mind can sleep

or I could just see the world through my eyes

clearly

and like wipe clean the lens

that is fogged over by rage

and insecurities

stress trying to get through a net with smaller holes

simply because no one wants to hear

that stress.

Someone should hear that I mean

if it’s them…

sometimes we say best

by saying nothing they say.

Nope we say it best when we get it out

and minds empty of thoughts

that pollute your

mind

and make you sick